Hello, My name is Jenkins and i'm proud of it! And brother's name is Dugan and we live together in an AWESOME House and If you want to learn more go to the about page. If you would like to buy our products you can. Anyway you have to! Just beware of Stailer. If you want to get to places at Stailer, Click here And please Listen!
I made this!
ReplyDeleteWow
DeleteI am wondering if you employ women in your company.
DeleteI think you know the answer. (We obviously do.)
DeleteDear Dugan and Jenkins,
ReplyDeleteMy name is Jeff Bazos. Perhaps you've heard of me? I founded and now run a well know shopping site (Amezon.com). I mean who hasn't heard of me and my site, right?
Anyway, I'm writing to you today with a BUSINESS PROPOSITION. To put it simply, I'd like to purchase Stailerbros.com, along with all of your inventory, videos, bumper stickers etc. Interested? Perhaps you will be when we discuss the DOLLARS AND CENTS!
In exchange for ownership of Stailerbros.com, I am willing to offer you 10% of my company, Amezon.com, along with 1,000,000 bittcoins, a sum currently worth more than 65 BILLION dollers!
I've also long wanted some OLD PEOPLE on my board of directors so I can also offer you a lifetime appointment to the board of directors of Amezon.com
I hope you will NOT HESITATE to sell Stailerbros.com to me RIGHT AWAY. If interested, please email me at JeffBazos@aol.com
hugs,
Jeff
Hello. As you can see Jeff I’m already a multi-trillionaire and I don’t need your moolah so yes I hesitate.
DeleteMy dearest Jenky (may I call you that?),
ReplyDeleteYou are a man of wealth and confidence. I like that. You also drive a hard bargain.
I am also a man of confidence and wealth and thus I am prepared to raise my offer to 1 Billion Buttcoins (approx value 56 trillion dollers).
Please run this by your brother and let’s get ready to celebrate this exciting deal! I can’t wait to introduce the world to Stailerzon.com!
Hugs,
Jeffy
Again I do not need your dollars and cents or buttcoins. And you can’t call me Jenky. P.S I do not like the name Stailerzon.com.
ReplyDeleteDearest Jenky,
ReplyDeletePerhaps you'd like to donate to my GoFundMe?
https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-me-buy-stailerbros-to-create-stailerzon?
utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_campaign=p_cf+share-flow-1
Thank you and please ask Dugan to do the same!
Big hugs,
Jeff
I just can’t think of making Stailerzon.com! My feeble brain can not comprehend that.
ReplyDeleteI’m sorry Jeff but I will donate a couple of cents to your GoFundMe.
With all do money,
Jenkins
Oh Jenky!
ReplyDeleteYou have no idea what your “couple cents” means to my campaign and my quest to bring our companies together. Now that we’re one step closer to partnership would you send me a few samples of “our” products? My wife has a poster of you and Dugan and it would mean the world to her if you’d send some Stailer Pads with your signatures on them. Im so excited I can barely sleep! To an amazing future in which Stailerzon dominates the world!
Big hugs and kisses,
Jeffy
I am sorry once again Jeff. Our pads are not realistic in fact they are not even real! Only Dugan and I have Stailer Pads. Now getting to business: I never said in this entire discussion that we would make Stailerzon.com so I think you will have problems sleeping now.
ReplyDeleteNo hugs and kisses,
Jenkins
Dear Jenkins,
ReplyDeleteI'm so pleased to tell you that I've begun building the new headquarters for Stailerzon! I'm also in negotiations to by the url for the website. Apparently stailerzon.com is currently owned by a turtle taxidermy company but they are willing to sell for a mere 100,000,000 which I know will only be a tiny sum for you and Dugan.
I couldn't help but lol at your hilarious joke that "our pads aren't real!" Ha! They're only the best pads IN THE WORLD.
Anyway, you're such a funny guy. It's hilarious how you keep saying you won't partner with me when I can tell how excited you and Dugan are.
Also, I think there was a typo in your last note. You wrote "no hugs and kisses" when I'm sure you simply meant "with hugs and kisses (and cuddles)"
With hugs, kisses, and LOTS of cuddles,
Jeff
I do not want headquarters for Stailerzon! I do not want cuddles, I do not want kisses, and I do not want hugs!
ReplyDeleteI do not want anything to do with Stailerzon!
P.S. the Stailer pad thing is not a joke.
Dear Jenky,
ReplyDeleteIt is with great sadness that I must report to you that I no longer wish to partner with you. My wife (Dorkas) read your last note and thought you sounded angry and maybe that you weren't 100% ready for Stailerzon.
Instead I plan to start a new company: Staillerbros.com. We will see high priced electronics and a special pork-based drink called the "Classical Summac."
I'm also thinking about changing my name to Jankens.
I hope that my new business doesn't take away customers from you and Dugan but I must warn you that our products WILL each come with a hug from the founder. Can Stailer match that?
I'm wondering: would you be willing to write a review for my new site? It would mean the world to Dorkas and me. Here's a suggestion: "Staillerbros.com is the site I've been looking for. Other sites like it are always sold out. But Jankens and his team have made me realize that those sites stink. This is the real deal."
I hope you'll sign off on all of this.
Hugs and love,
Jankens
I’m sorry. I was a little bit upset about the Stailerzon thing. But in the first place I don’t want anything to do with you at all. The Classic Sumac is already real so I don’t think we will be selling it on Staillerbros.com. I wouldn’t like to be a part of Staillerbros.com at all. But your new name is cool.
ReplyDeleteJenny! Duggie! I just received (via US postal service) a magnetic certificate of ownership for the Stailer Bros. Company. Thank you! You two are truly some of the most creative (former)CEOs I've come across. I've seen many companies sold and many certificates of ownership trade hands, but never have I seen one that is also a car magnet. I think it was very wise to hand the company over to me (plus I can advertise it on the back of my car!). Wow. If you'd like to continue working at Stailer now that it's been merged with Amezon, you can speak with my secretary Bertie (bertie@stailerzon.com). She would be more than happy to review your resumes.
ReplyDeleteAll the best. And again thank you for your wisdom in making this move.
Jeffy (aka Jenkins Bazos)